Memo to Obama Campaign & Surrogates

How not to respond to McCain attack memes:

1. Claim, as does Bob Herbert, that McCain's "Celebrity" ad deliberately juxtaposed Britney Spears with 'phallic' imagery like the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Washington Monument to inflame subconscious fears of interracial sex.
2. Suggest, as does Timothy Noah in Slate, that the WSJ's article on Obama's skinniness is really about his race.
3. Opine, as does The One himself, that the political party that represents about 50% of the nation "takes pride in being ignorant."

How to respond to McCain attack memes:

1. Point out that McCain himself now concedes that inflating your tires is a good idea.
2. Circulate widely the news that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, potential dark-horse McCain VP pick, supports Obama's energy plan. (Question: is she now off the shortlist because she endorsed Obama's plan, or is it the other way around? Discuss.)
3. Somehow get the most loathed celebrity in America, and the daughter of a major McCain supporter, to release the best political ad of the season so far:
4. . . . and don't let the McCain camp somehow claim that Ms. Hilton's energy plan is the GOP plan, when in fact it's nearly identical to your own.

The October Protocol will see you at the debates, bitches.