Memo to Obama Campaign & Surrogates

How not to respond to McCain attack memes:

1. Claim, as does Bob Herbert, that McCain's "Celebrity" ad deliberately juxtaposed Britney Spears with 'phallic' imagery like the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Washington Monument to inflame subconscious fears of interracial sex.
2. Suggest, as does Timothy Noah in Slate, that the WSJ's article on Obama's skinniness is really about his race.
3. Opine, as does The One himself, that the political party that represents about 50% of the nation "takes pride in being ignorant."

How to respond to McCain attack memes:

1. Point out that McCain himself now concedes that inflating your tires is a good idea.
2. Circulate widely the news that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, potential dark-horse McCain VP pick, supports Obama's energy plan. (Question: is she now off the shortlist because she endorsed Obama's plan, or is it the other way around? Discuss.)
3. Somehow get the most loathed celebrity in America, and the daughter of a major McCain supporter, to release the best political ad of the season so far:
4. . . . and don't let the McCain camp somehow claim that Ms. Hilton's energy plan is the GOP plan, when in fact it's nearly identical to your own.

The October Protocol will see you at the debates, bitches.

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CNN, I shake my fist at you

I just watched a CNN story called "Oil and Terrorism" that pissed me off so much I had to go float in a tank. Apparently, The Terrorists are the sole force behind the skyrocketing prices--by attacking oil pipelines. Cross-cut images of burning oil fields, angry brown men, and ominously upticking gas price meters and you have what passes for a CNN investigative report.

Sure, terrorists attack oil pipelines. But perhaps it's slightly disingenuous to report on this without examining, maybe, I don't know, why terrorists attack pipelines? The piece managed to suggest that terrorists in Nigeria and the Middle East have basically the same reasons for disrupting the flow of oil without asking why it is that oil-rich nations in the Third World have proved such fertile ground for violent guerilla groups. Oh, and note to CNN: it undercuts your credibility to present this kind of studied ignorance ("What could possibly be the connection between oil and terrorism?") when your lead expert analyst is Stephen Leeb, the guy who wrote the book on profiting from oil instability.

Plus, bonus points for working in my two favorite oil memes: "foreign oil" and "our way of life."

Foreign oil as in "when we say the only solution is to reduce America's dependence on foreign oil, that reassures people that the problem lies not in our consumption habits, but rather in our reliance on some other damn country."

And our way of life as in "when we say this threatens our way of life, that will make people think of the Declaration of Independence, the First Amendment, apple pie, and Mom--not of SUV's, conspicuous consumption, NASCAR, and the all-hallowed place of the car in American culture."

Nice job!

The October Protocol is the connection between Oil and Terrorism.

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