Is she a lil' bit country, or a lil' bit rock n' roll?

Four months ago, the Republican Vice Presidential nominee named her* child after Van Halen.

Wired:

Trig Paxson Van Palin (an homage to the rock band Van Halen) was born in April. With Trig in tow, Palin returned to work a few days later, for a meeting of her energy team.

Four.

Months.

Ago.

It's one thing to have a few posters of a spread-eagled David Lee Roth underneath your bearskin rug, but to include a pun related to the band in your kid's name, that's so...dazed and confused:

EXT. BACK PORCH - NIGHT

Gathered with a few friends and family, BARRICUDA, wearing a VH 1979 World Tour shirt chills outside of AIP convention after-hours party. A joint of Great Alaskan Thunderfuck is passed.

BARRICUDA: (takes hit) I was thinking...(cough, snort) I was thinking of naming one of the kids Van Palen.

LEVI: You mean, like, (giggles) the guy in Dracula.

TODD: Nah, brah, like the band.

WOODERSON: Alright, alright, alright.

CUT TO... PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN TRAIL?!

And we're supposed to believe she is a serious candidate to be a heartbeat away from the Presidency.

But supporters shout, "She's the everywoman, the girl next door."

I don't want my neighbor running for Vice President.

*Yes, while questions still remain regarding Bristol's extended school absence and the slooooowest leak, amniotic or otherwise, since the Edwards love child story, I feel that the absence of further evidence absolves Gov. Palin of suspicion in any baby-switching plot.

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McCain-Palin 08: Baby Mama Drama

This photo was taken on February 5, Super Tuesday, when Sarah Palin was 6 months pregnant (Trig was born on April 18). She looks good, right? Not showing at all . . . at SIX months of her FIFTH pregnancy.

Here's another strange fact:

The governor's water broke during the energy conference but she stayed and gave a 30-minute speech before boarding an Alaska Airlines plane home to deliver the baby.

The flight from Dallas to Juneau takes around 11-12 hours and it's a widely accepted fact in the medical community that time in labor usually decreases with each successive childbirth. Airlines don't usually let you fly without a doctor's note if you are 28-weeks pregnant or more (In Palin's case she was reportedly at 32 weeks) and Section II.7.1 of the FAA Regulations Manual on transportation of patients by airlines states the following:

Obstetrical patients in later stages provide a significant risk of precipitating delivery during flight; pregnancy past 32 weeks should be carefully considered for restriction from flight and those past 36 weeks should be prohibited from flying. An aircraft is not a delivery room.

Palin apparently was not only able to keep her 8 month pregnancy a secret from the airline employees before the 12 hour flight, but also the fact that her water had broken. Of course, the easiest way to keep that secret is if you aren't actually pregnant.

Bristol Palin, Gov. Palin's 17-year old daughter, was out of school for the last 4-5 months of the Governor's pregnancy with mononucleosis.

There appears to be a lot of smoke, but no fire yet, and there may never be, but what makes campaigning in the age of the internet so taxing is that every blogger has a smoke detector. Wasilla, AK, this ain't Governor. Welcome to the national stage, for better or for worse.

In parting, a video for your perusal. Does she look and act 6.5 months pregnant in this video . . . hard to say. She is wearing the same outfit she was wearing on Super Tuesday. Is that her pregnancy suit?

Note: Pictures of Palin during her pregnancy have already been taken down from the Alaskan Government website. Keep an eye on this link to see if it disappears.

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Memo to Obama Campaign & Surrogates

How not to respond to McCain attack memes:

1. Claim, as does Bob Herbert, that McCain's "Celebrity" ad deliberately juxtaposed Britney Spears with 'phallic' imagery like the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Washington Monument to inflame subconscious fears of interracial sex.
2. Suggest, as does Timothy Noah in Slate, that the WSJ's article on Obama's skinniness is really about his race.
3. Opine, as does The One himself, that the political party that represents about 50% of the nation "takes pride in being ignorant."

How to respond to McCain attack memes:

1. Point out that McCain himself now concedes that inflating your tires is a good idea.
2. Circulate widely the news that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, potential dark-horse McCain VP pick, supports Obama's energy plan. (Question: is she now off the shortlist because she endorsed Obama's plan, or is it the other way around? Discuss.)
3. Somehow get the most loathed celebrity in America, and the daughter of a major McCain supporter, to release the best political ad of the season so far:
4. . . . and don't let the McCain camp somehow claim that Ms. Hilton's energy plan is the GOP plan, when in fact it's nearly identical to your own.

The October Protocol will see you at the debates, bitches.

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